Martha Stewart is Right!

Jul 24, 2023

Martha Stewart and I were both in the Class of 1963 at Barnard College. Other than that, we never crossed paths. But recently, I found us in alignment when she voiced an unpopular opinion about working from home. She says go back to the office!

I couldn’t agree more. We face a commercial real estate disaster in 2026. Expect working at home to be viewed as selfish and unpatriotic.

Martha’s criticism of the working-from-home trend made me reflect on my 60 years of working not from home. My career began in 1963 at Scholastic Magazines & Books on West 44th Street; I was happy to escape my cramped apartment and two roommates. Five days a week I was in the midst of the excitement and glamour of Midtown Manhattan (the famed Algonquin Hotel was across the street).

Later I moved to a teeny tiny apartment near Gramercy Park and worked on 22nd Street and 5th Avenue. In the 70s, I worked on 41st Street and 5th Avenue and lived in Tudor City (same street but further East). Eventually, I moved to the Village — a lovely stroll to my office in SoHo. That’s your 10,000 steps right there, and another fake weight loss scheme.

Remarks made during interview with Footwear News published June 5th, 2023

Obviously, I embrace convenience and efficiency. I felt clever about being able to set up my time that way. But not everyone agreed as I discovered while asking people about their commutes. People everywhere travel from the suburbs to the big city, taking a train from Connecticut to New York. What do people report? They love the commute because they can sit quietly and enjoy reading a novel — escaping from their work and home lives. Remember when trains had Bar cars? Passengers had a fabulous experience drinking and socializing — no complaints.

We have the vast NYC subway system. I have a friend who rode the subway from Coney Island to 42nd Street every day. She said she'd get on the train and with nobody sitting next to her the movement would rock her to sleep until she reached her destination.

Today, I notice people playing video games on the subway. They have a great time and don’t seem to suffer too much. Or, how about the self-driving car? My son has a Tesla — you push a few buttons, and it goes. Hands free, you can sit and meditate. Or masturbate.

Unlike me, most people do like to travel.

Then there’s the other space consideration. Hasn’t it been proven that two adults who are contractually bound to each other should not spend their days and nights next to each other? Are we surprised that domestic violence is rising? Things worked much better when there was a routine to get away from each other with both partners at their separate workplaces or only one staying at the residence.

I remember that companies discouraged employees from dating each other if they worked together. My parents met at work and couldn’t get married. Everyone knew that two married adults can’t spend their day and night working and living together. Well, we seem to have forgotten that wisdom.

So if it is not the commute and we all agree that married adults need physical space, why is working from home such a draw? On the surface it seems like a bad idea. Except not if it is symptomatic of deeper issues. Being at home enables us to hide out better and keep up the pretenses about our work and our personal lives. To maintain our complicity.

Let’s start with work. Yes it is exhausting pretending to be busy. We are worried about future joblessness because currently we have so little to do. As David Graybar said in his brilliant book, Bullshit Jobs, 50% of white collar jobs are unnecessary, his research was easy: a survey of employees confirmed that they themselves said they had little to do. So even if you can fool your boss that you are busy, it’s stressful to be in an office trying to look productive.

Next is the pretense of our families. Actually, today we don’t have families. We only have loved ones, implying that we want to be with them every minute because we love them so much. This “love” concept interferes with what we have known for ages: most families are more dysfunctional than ideal.

So the real issue is that many people are fearful and have given up. They show up if they have to and pretend to be productive while they are quiet quitting. No matter how hard we try to spin AI and other technologies, we know that many jobs will be eliminated. I guess then we won’t be arguing about our beloved “work/life” balance.

But for now, it’s easier to pretend that we’re busy working if we’re at home with our “loved ones” because nobody is watching. And even in our cramped and messy home spaces, we are physically more comfortable in our pajamas. Unless you are part of the 35% who has NOT sized up, dressing in office attire is confining. Yes, the average American woman at 5’4” weighs 171 pounds and has a 38.9 inch waist (35 inches is obese).

Hiding is hard, but less so at home. It seems as if no free food, ping pong tables or pod naps can lure the pretenders back to the office. Let’s see what happens when they find out that their work/life balance might shift permanently towards all life.

This crisis is being recognized across all the big media outlets, and if they’re ringing the alarm, then it must be serious. A brief reading list:

Joan Breibart

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